Hey Beautiful People,

I would like to explain a few things before I go on. Boundaries are not walls, they are fences and fences always have a gate. This means that we need to be able to open up our boundaries to let the good in and to also let the bad out. They should be strong enough to keep out danger, but permeable enough to allow safe and good things. Another important thing that you need to know is this; Boundaries should not be set based on selfish desires, but out of the need to protect our minds, to keep them safe. We have a responsibility to our minds, and that is to “guard it with all diligence”.

So, you have accepted the fact that you have weak boundaries, at least in some areas of your life and you are wondering how you can go about the task of redrawing your lines. The first thing you have to know is that there are five prevalent principles when it comes to setting boundaries. They are LIMITS, TRUTH, RESPECT, REAPING WHAT YOU SOW, and ACTIVE PRACTICE. Once you understand that we are required to live our lives within certain limits, you will realize the importance of the ability to always speak the truth (about your feelings, your choices, your desires, your attitude, and your abilities). Being honest clears up a lot of confusion about boundaries. You also need to learn to demand respect. By this I don’t mean that you should go about commanding people to respect you, it doesn’t work that way. You have to first respect yourself, and then respect other people. If you do this the right way, trust me people will respect you in return. Respect is reciprocal; cliché, but true. We should also learn to respect other people’s boundaries and their freedom. Realizing the fact that every action you take has a consequence, and that you are responsible for the consequence of every choice you make will also help you. It is also important to keep at it. You can’t be passive about your boundaries and expect them to be effective.

Setting boundaries is not about being selfish, it is actually about freedom; freedom to be who we are, freedom to express ourselves. But you see, Freedom always comes with a partner, Responsibility.  Responsibility is also connected to Ownership. Ownership here means that you understand the fact that your feelings, attitudes, behavior, choices and desires are yours. It means that you shouldn’t blame others, if for example you are angry. I agree that somebody might have made you angry, but the anger belongs to you, it’s in your mind and so it is your responsibility to get rid of it. This brings us to Control. God has given us freedom, and he commands that we take control of the things that he has entrusted to us.  

Once you understand these principles, you can then begin to analyze the boundaries you have presently. If they do not reflect these principles, then you need to readjust them. Focus on each area that requires renovation, one area at a time, and apply these principles to them.

Change is never easy, and you’ll most likely face challenges and objections. Here are a few tips to help you keep to your new, strong and clear boundaries; Be consistent. Be responsible for your own emotional reactions rather than blaming other people. Do not be a wall, remember fences have gates!

Finally, you cannot do any of the things I mentioned above all by yourself. Your will can only go so far. You need to ask for The Holy Spirit’s help. You see, God knew that we were going to need help and so he sent him to us. Ask him to help you, and the end result will be freedom, self-control and beautifully healthy Boundaries.

Thanks for reading,
‘Lola Ajayi

Hey Beautiful People,

I would like to tell you about something wonderful, something you would all like to be a part of. It’s unusual and highly enlightening. It is THE METARMORPHOSIS ACADEMY.

The Academy is a platform where young people meet to unlearn the wrong notions, principles and the general mentality that we have about the world we live in, and instead replace these wrong principles with the TRUTH.  Its aim is to develop a generation of people who understand the reason for their existence and who know how to go about fulfilling their God-given purposes in life. To put it simply, its aim is “Changing hearts to Change the earth”

The next edition holds this Saturday, May 31^st 2014, and so if you’ll be in Ibadan or anywhere near Ibadan, I would be glad if you could make it. You won’t regret coming. There would be refreshments too! *wink*

Venue: RCCG. His Royal Majesty Parish
         Opp Hammonds Court Hotel,
         Awolowo way, Bodija Housing est.         Bodija, Ibadan.
Time: 10:30 am (No African time)

Looking forward to seeing you there,

‘Lola Ajayi

Hey Beautiful People,

  Are you sitting on the sidelines of life, watching other people make a difference and even cheering them on as they achieve their dreams, or are you standing for something, making an impact in people’s lives and creating some sort of change in the world? If I asked you to do a quick assessment of your life and then answer that question, what will your answer be? In Sports, ‘’sidelines’’ is generally defined as the area where players out of play operate during a game. They just sit and watch, either cheering their fellow players on, or insulting them for their lack of skill.

In reality, it’s easier to play safe, anyone can do that. It’s easier to let other people put themselves out there, taking all of the risk, all of the injury, all of the judgment and of course all of the rewards. It’s safer to sit back, relax and watch them, but the truth is you don’t learn anything that way. The only way you can truly learn and develop yourself is if you go out there and get involved with life. Most of us are afraid to lose, and so we hold back and never share our incredible gifts and talents with the world. Do you know that one of the worst things you can ever do is go to your grave with all of your talents and virtues still intact and untouched, all because you were scared of failure and rejection?

I know a lot of people think they don’t have talents; I used to think like that not too long ago. It’s just a big lie, everyone has a talent. There are a few things you can do that help you to find yours. Think about what you love to do, explore different things, try taking personality tests, take note of what people tell you about yourself, consider your interests, discover what you are not good at as well, and when you find your talent, keep practicing, share it with the world and touch people with it.  Oh and guess what? You’ll never find your talent by being a sideliner.
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In the end, do you want to look back on your life and be filled with regret over the things that you never did? If you don’t, get yourself up and do something tangible with your life. Remember, you were not born to add to the world’s population of sideliners, you were born to make a difference.

Thanks for reading,
“Lola Ajayi

Belles Personnes,

 

French must have been my worst subject in high school, and even though I had been forced to learn the language for six years, I had nothing to show for it. Yes, I knew the usual e.g. the first ten digits of the language: Un, deux, trois… etc., greetings; bonjour, bonsoir, comment ca va?, and some other useless words. My knowledge or lack of it wouldn’t have been useful, if for some reason I found myself in a French speaking country without an interpreter, or in a position where I would have to be fluent in French to be able to get a particular job. I have always known that being able to speak a language other than English gives you an edge over someone who doesn’t, but having to learn this extra language was a major problem.

I finally got an opportunity to join a language training program. It was a program in which I would have had to sit through 5 hours of classes both on Saturdays and Sundays for nine months. I really wasn’t looking forward to it, but I had decided to just get it over with. Two days before my first class, I remembered “The Fleuri Academy”  

The Fleuri Academy provides learning on the go using a model developed for smarter learning deployed via chat applications (Whatsapp, Skype and Google Hangouts). This model enables you to have your classes from anywhere in the world, literally. All you need is a phone, a tab or a laptop, an internet connection and you are good to go.

At first I had my doubts. How effective will the classes be? What if I slept off during my classes? What will happen if I miss any of my classes? Would it even be interactive enough? Will it eventually be a waste of money? My answers to these questions after just one month of classes are:

-The classes have been very effective. From the first class, I was motivated to get as many CDs and books (hard and soft copy versions) on French that I could lay my hands on. I was also made to understand the principles behind certain grammatical rules and structure of the language, something I had never been able to grasp before.

-I have never slept off during any class. The classes are designed in such a way that makes you constantly involved. No dull moments. There is always something for you to do.

-If you miss any class for genuine reasons, it will be replaced as there is a stipulated amount of hours that your tutor must cover within a particular time.

-Yes, the classes are interactive and they keep you on your feet until the class is over.

-Taking classes with Fleuri is definitely not a waste of time or money. Getting your money’s worth is assured.

 

Fleuri also offers other courses. They include;

-Social Media

-Techpreneurship

-Leadership

-Tax Audit

-ATS/ICAN Tutorials

 

For Enquiries and Information

Telephone: +2348121644604

BB PIN : 25FDC467

Email: fleuriconsults@live.com

Blog: tfacademy.wordpress.com

 

Are you ready for your Fleuri experience? Call 08121644604 now!

 

Merci d’avoir lu,

“Lola Ajayi

 

 

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Hey Beautiful People,

(I recently came across a list of words that are rare and so seldom used that I wonder why they were even invented. They are so rare that when I was typing in this post on my laptop, each of these words were underlined in red. Anyway, I had fun with the words.)

Did you know that you are an Abderian, if you are “given to incessant or idiotic laughter”? Or that “a person who is learning the alphabets of a language” is an Abcedarian. If you find yourself “spending excessively on food and drinks”, you need help because you have a condition known as Abligurition. An Agelast “never laughs”, while “the state of looking younger than one actually is” is known as Agerasia. Do you know what “the wire that holds the cork in a champagne bottle” is called? An Agraffe.
Batrachophagy is “the art of eating frogs”, while that “continuous loud humming or buzzing sound” that mosquitoes make when they are searching for a fleshy part of your skin to bite is called Bombilating. I’m sure you didn’t know that “the rumbling sound of gas passing through the intestines” when you are extremely hungry is known as Borborygmus.
“Loud or Hysterical laughter” is known as Cachinnation and “artfully veiling an insult” is called Charientism. Guys, did you know that your “barber” is also a Chirontosor?
Gargalesis (“Heavy tickling”) causes Gargalesthesia (“The sensation caused by tickling”) and “the space between two windows” is known as an Interfenestration.
Did you know that “the inability to recall a precise word for something at a particular time” is known as Lethologica?
Mulligrubs, (which to me sounds like the art of overeating) is actually “a state of depression or low spirits”
When you “stretch or yawn before going to bed, or after waking up”, you are actually Pandiculating.
“The first person you see when you leave your house” is a Qualtagh, and “someone who always wants to know everything” is a Quidnunc (a.k.a Amebo).
If you need to tell someone that they have “bad breath”, tell them they are Saprostomus, so you can escape before they are done googling the meaning of the word. If you have a friend that has a “habit of dropping in only at mealtimes”, he or she is Sgiomlaireached.

Let me know if you think this post was a Witzelsucht.

Thanks for reading,

‘Lola Ajayi

Hey Beautiful people,

A Psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired; “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers ranged from 8 ounces to 20 ounces

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed- incapable of doing anything.”

Remember to put the glass down.- Anonymous.

 

Worrying about stuff comes natural to everyone; nobody teaches anybody how to worry.  We worry about the big things that we can do absolutely nothing about; we worry about the tiniest, most unnecessary things. I agree that worrying may have positive outcomes, for example it may prompt you to take precautions like fastening your seat belts when you are in a car (not because you are really concerned for your safety but because you want to avoid LASTMA or FRSC officials and their wahala) , but it mostly has negative impacts. Worrying paralyzes us. It distracts the mind from focusing on solutions to the problem and instead amplifies the problem and makes it look bleak and unsolvable.

Have you ever noticed that the things we worry most about are either out of control or are problems we have created in our minds, problems that do not even exist? One thing you can do to help you keep your anxiety in check is to find out more information about the issue that is worrying you. Check out the facts, make sure whatever info you have is correct. Then you can start to think of a solution to your problem

One of the other things you could do to combat worry, is to not worry alone. This is something that I’ve tried over and over again, and it almost always works. Talk to a friend about your concerns. The key word here is perspective.  Most times we look at a problem or an obstacle from one or two points of views, and by talking to a friend about it, we can view the problem through another person’s eyes, and together you can come up with a solution to the problem.

I’ll leave you with the words of Apostle Paul “Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns”

 

Thanks for reading,

‘Lola Ajayi

 

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Hey Beautiful People,

Its been too long since I put up anything on here. Its all been for a number of reasons.

First and foremost is the fact that lately I’ve been discouraged and unimpressed with my writing. Yes, I know that sounds like a lazy person’s excuse, but its true. Someone told me once that I’m too polite when I write, and that politeness will take me places. Of course, he was being sarcastic and I let his and some other people’s comments affect me for a while. I’ve had 5 months to think and now I’ve come to the conclusion that I really do not care. I am a polite person, I’m sensitive about how I communicate with people, and if you do not like my writing style, you don’t have to read what I write. I know I’m not perfect and I still have a long way to go, but the thing is “Practice makes Perfect” and I’m going to keep practicing.

Second reason why I stopped was plain, old Procastination, which is of course always dragged along by an accomplice, Laziness. I kept pushing and pushing and inventing excuses till I felt too comfortable with abandoning my writing. I know you must have heard this a thousand times, but its true, procastinating really isn’t good. It causes stress, a high sense of guilt, a loss of personal productivity and it makes you seem irresponsible to people around you.
I know there are some things you should have done, but for some “wonderful” reasons you’ve been putting them off till now, go ahead and do them. Trust me, you’ll be happy you did.

Third reason was the fact that I had a bad phone and practically non-existent internet connection. I don’t have a new phone yet, but I decided to dig out my modem, get a new sim card for it and activate my data plan. Even though the internet connection is slow and annoying, it doesn’t irk me all that much because I’m doing what I love to do. I realised something recently after meeting a lady that makes ankara accessories. The first time I met her she was all “ankara’d up”, I didn’t have to think twice before I was able to decide what she did for a living. If you are passionate about something, you shouldn’t have to tell people, it should be written all over you. You are meant to eat, breathe, and live your passion. No matter what obstacles you encounter as you go on, if you love to do something, let your passion shine through. That’s the only way you can become a success at it..

Thanks for reading,

‘Lola Ajayi.

PS: Be sure to expect something from me every week from now on, I’m done being lazy.

PPS: Please suscribe to the blog by filling in your email addresses in the box below and clicking the follow button, thanks.